when I hold it tight
it’s crushed beyond recognition
the pieces break the skin on my clutched palms
now it’s seeping out
between my reddened knuckles
and I start believing there’s not enough

not enough — see there’s proof
not enough — it’s disappearing right here
not enough — inside my own fists

so I hold it tighter
drop to the floor and scrape my forearms on the concrete
to gather what I’ve spilled
use my body to shield you from getting too close
anyone getting too close
this is mine

this is mine — please get away
this is mine — I must protect what I have
this is mine — this is all that I have

and of course you back away
you shake your head and turn away
you leave me alone
of course you do
now I’m alone
it’s what I asked you to do
it’s what I asked for, fought for, screamed for, and what for
and all I’ve got now to show for it are
shattered remnants of something I thought was everything
I held it too tightly
the pressure of being everything crushed it to nothing
of course it crushed it to nothing

and now I’m here
down on the concrete
fine powder blowing from my upturned palms

words and music by Shannon Curtis
published by Shannon K (ASCAP)
all rights reserved; lyrics reprinted by permission